| Friday, June 19th, 2009 |
| 9:17 pm |
when you have insomnia, your never really asleep and your never really awake. with a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels. i could keep thousands of quotes from fightclub. i have that many issues. its hard to be crazy when your already nuts. love it. love me. blah blah blah. |
| Tuesday, June 16th, 2009 |
| 5:24 pm |
godlovesugly. i sure hope so damn it. |
| Sunday, May 31st, 2009 |
| 10:21 pm |
hangin' round downtown by myself and i had so much time to sit and think about myself. the bridge is calling. i already answered to depression, i wish i would have let it leave a message. i swear its got me set on redial. its hard to talk, but lj always listens. no matter what. gotta wait'n see what happens i suppose. blah blah blah. |
| Friday, May 15th, 2009 |
| 10:52 pm |
Your family is the center of your world right now, but don't forget your friends. got damn right. i need to call a friend and wish him a happy be-lated birthday. i bet he wont answer. |
| Tuesday, May 5th, 2009 |
| 9:58 am |
pardon me while i burst into flames. |
| Saturday, April 4th, 2009 |
| 10:32 pm |
satan laughing spreads his wings. step inside my shoes, you couldnt fill' em doc. here i am again. where im gonna be tommorow, dunno. |
| Wednesday, April 1st, 2009 |
| 11:03 am |
one step forward and two steps back. am i crazy.... maybeeeee. when id rather be on the streets than deal with this nonsense, something aint right. my brother gets out soon. too bad im more of a father than he will ever be. its scary, yea i know. |
| Saturday, March 28th, 2009 |
| 11:24 pm |
today/tonites: Quickie An opportunity for travel is coming your way very soon. Get ready for an upgrade! i love it. i would love to. it will happen. i gotta see family first though. |
| Friday, March 27th, 2009 |
| 10:22 pm |
i dont get scared. i forgot how good of a movie American Beauty was. that last scene when kevin spacey gets a gun to the back of his head, blam! and then the weird kid stares at his half smiling dead face. beautiful. its hard to stay mad when theres soo much beauty in the world. thank god for good tv movies and sitting at home on a friday nite. blah. sarcasm and seriousness... can you tell wich is wich? whatever dude. |
| Thursday, March 26th, 2009 |
| 10:13 pm |
fear is a disease. hope is the only cure for it. sometimes i give myself the creeps. sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. my brother gets outta prison in seventeen days. it should be interesting. he has no idea what hes about to get back into. im just glad the weight of being a father is off my shoulders soon. im not a dad, i cant take it. its hard to catch a buzz off bullshit. if i lose my i.d. card can i forget who i am? blah blah blah. i still have hope to find my purpose. i want to leave florida. i want friends again. i want a drink. i want not to be going to bed at ten-twenty. goodnite lj land. |
| Thursday, March 19th, 2009 |
| 12:16 pm |
cant do this anymore. time to embark on a new adventure. running away and getting even more lost is a whole lot easier. |
| Friday, March 6th, 2009 |
| 5:57 pm |
every star must die, someday. time is poison. |
| 5:05 pm |
22.72 enough to live on? a day or two. lifes short. try your luck. white zinfandel... "im proud of you" lets see what happens. |
| Saturday, February 28th, 2009 |
| 11:41 pm |
i was just searching around on myspace. ive never really been on that site before. i found a bunch of people i hadnt seen or talked to in a long time. than i came across daves. fuckin dave stomach. i started crying a lil bit. i miss that kid. good times, i can hear his laugh and still see his smile. this morning i found a book pd gave me a long time ago called Killing Molly. i started reading it, i had read it before but was prolly drunk cause i couldnt remember alot of it. its based out of suburban detroit and shit so it mentions things like birmingham, big boy and white castle. i miss those things sometimes. i sure could go for a sack of twenty from white castle. i hate feeling this way. i feel confined, like im under arrest. i need some excitement. fuck the dumbshit. something will happen soon. somethings gotta happen soon or i will just continue to lose more and more sanity daily. blah blah, fuckin blah. |
| Thursday, February 26th, 2009 |
| 10:17 pm |
man-o-man. thumbs up to weirdo's. most the time anyways. i need anti-depressents badly. i need a job badly. i need alot of things badly. im badly in need of things and have no idea how to get them. i dont make sense, even to myself, and im sober. thats scary. time for sleep. than another excrutiating day. yaay. goodnite. xanthony |
| Saturday, February 21st, 2009 |
| 10:14 pm |
if i ever gave a fuck...i woulda gave it away along time ago. for a couple hundred bucks i could get to cali. life sucks here, so why not give it a try accross the us. yup. |
| Friday, February 13th, 2009 |
| 1:24 pm |
i find it hard, its hard to find... oh well, whatever, nevermind. ive been fighting my brain for days. boredom is the death of me. havent had a drink in two weeks. i wish i was at a bar. pain is just knowing your alive, if you feel pain at least you know your still breathing. blah blah blah. |
| Sunday, February 8th, 2009 |
| 3:10 pm |
if columbus was wrong, id drive straight off the edge. the last few days have been strange inside my head. the boredom and sobriety mixed together is hard. its been ten days since my last drink. doesnt mean i havent thought about it, but i dont feel like sleeping outside. even though its record highs in temp outside right now, like 75 degrees out easy. not bad for feb. my horoscope today tells me this; "Things should get a lot better in the near future, but you need to make it through today first!" uuuuh huh. i need something new. i need something more. i need something. i need. |
| Thursday, February 5th, 2009 |
| 8:34 pm |
i thought a day on the streets was long... pssh, try a thirteen hour day with a three year old. the boy stayed home sick from school today. talk about a fun filled day of cartoons and candyland. live and let live, do not judge, take life as it comes and deal with it, everything will be ok. right, got it. |
| Wednesday, February 4th, 2009 |
| 12:20 pm |
i have nothing going on. absolutely nothing. and its driving me insane. but i have been reading alot. wich is out of the ordinary for me. so i take that back, im already insane. blah blah blah. |
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